WILD Wounds & sources

Denying her wounds became the source of her power.

I don’t know at what point in my adolescence that I became such a piece of shit? I was good, I was responsible. I had dreams, I had ambition. I know one thing, I am going to walk myself to the woman my grandparents raised me to be.

It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks, all that matters is that you used your gift to help people, and that’s a beautiful thing.

I wrote a text to a dear friend today asking for encouragement. This was her response:

I don't have to believe in you. You have to believe in yourself. Until you do that and don't need constant affirmation from others, you aren't going to do great things. Do them for you, not to impress anyone else. I don't care what others think of me. I work hard and accomplish things for me, to support my family, to give back to my community, and to serve God. Not to get a pat on the back from the world. You don't need a reminder from me. Do it for you and for God! Quit seeking acceptance

She was on point. I cant expect people to believe in me if I don't believe in myself and do things for ME.

I hate sources, because they're usually trouble--sources are as thought of the beginning of problems.

My circle of friends is about to become a dot. Like a period. tiny dot. I am getting back to the real me 

Morality Bites

The wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing. Our job is to protect the innocent, not punish the guilty. And I crossed that line, I know that. And now you guys have to know that too.

two wrongs don't make a right.

an eye for an eye isn't right.

VIOLENCE DOESNT SOLVE VIOLENCE

Person 1-This guy still hasn't learnt his lesson.

Person2-: Apparently neither have we. We used our rights for revenge

Person 1: But it's just a little thing, it's harmless.

Person: Yeah, but once you break the small rules, it's just a matter of time before the big ones are next.

Truth Be told

credits to charmed for the 4 scripts

Lost keys, souls and angry prayers.

i couldn't find my keys last night. I got angry and went outside to take a breather. I prayed aloud, angrily.

I bet you think this is real funny don't ya? Haven't you taken enough from me? You have to send Petty people  to kick me while I'm down. I had a nice normal life once and you took that from me. You took my boyfriend, you took my life, the least you could do is leave me my freakin' car keys. I am a good person, and damn it I would've made a great mom . And how dare you take that from me. I deserve... no, you know what? I demand that you send her back to me. You hear me? Right now. I am going to stand in this very spot until you send that baby back here this instant.

My child  would've been 2 this month.

Sorry this blog is for me to vent my feelings

Keep the prayers up anyway!

Norwegians, blessings, & shortcomings

I am sorry I haven't blogged in a while.

My life has been turned upside down and now back to right side up.

My wonderful friend, Tine, came to visit me in the US for 17 days. It was the best days of my time. I learned so much from her as she, as well from me. I couldn't be more humbled or gracious that she came.

Oh, and I got a new job, broke up with my boyfriend, and kicked him out.

18 days ago, I made the decision, by my own free will to stop drinking. Things were so good before I started, and my life has just been pure hell in recent years. I started going to AA meeting, and felt instantly welcomed by wonderful men & women who were just like me. We all have different stories. I found a wonderful sponsor whom I instantly connected with. K. She is the bee's knees man. Our stories are so similar. And she provides me with humility & gentleness every single day. She cares so much which entices me to KEEP DOING WELL.  I am forever grateful that I walked into that meeting and met her. And the second we spoke, I knew I would cling to her to help me battle this addiction. It has NOT been easy, but it also has not been as awful as I had imagined.

I have great days, and I have hard days, like today. I have come to the conclusion that many people in life (including ourselves), will let you down. But, the ones who really care will be there to pick you up. I have learned that there are MANY battles, but so little worth fighting. So today, I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and THANK GOD for the ones around me who lift my spirits on days like this.

Blessed Be to all..

XOXO
E

death

in the past several weeks I have lost several people I love. Some to cancer, some--unexplained. some- suicide.

Suicide.

Such an awful word. How could someone leave the ones they love behind with so many unanswered questions? Mostly, WHY? WHY didnt you talk to me? Why couldnt you figure out another solution? WHY were you such a coward?!? Mental Illness is real. It is so disposed of as a weakness. It is just like down syndrome, or the flu. You can't help it. people say that killing yourself sends you to hell off the rip. I say, that if you knew that person's heart. Go with that. And find peace that said person is at peace. Don't feel as guilty as I do. Seeing your friend the day before and hear her say " Im doing GREAT! IT is SOOO good to see you, I love you, girl!" Next day, shes gone. Pray. for your friends, hug them, look them in their eyes, and always go with your gut. Oh, and if your significant other talks to you like a sack of dog crap then, NEXT>>>> SIDE NOTE.

What arbitrary finish line?!?

We may not always love everything about our lives, but deep down we do love and appreciate the magic of life itself.  Some part of us believes that everything and anything is possible.

Sadly, though, we don’t always believe these possibilities are within our reach, even when they are.  The problem is we choose to believe otherwise.  We choose to believe we are incapable of living our lives the way we want to live them, at our full potential.  We choose to accept our reality as others have told us it has to be.

Wake up!

We don’t have to do this to ourselves – none of us do.  We have a choice.  We don’t have to be complacent.  We don’t have to fall into line.  Why not stir things up a bit and live by better rules?

It’s time to remind yourself of a few key truths – right now and every morning hereafter:

1. Today can be great, but only if you make it so. – Why do we often feel so powerless?  Because we convince ourselves that we are.  We wait for things to be given to us – entitlements.  But in life, there are no true entitlements, and the truth is that if you want something then you need to make it happen for yourself.  You need to work for it.  Whether or not today is a great day doesn’t depend on the weather.  It doesn’t depend on your “mood” (that’s also within your control).  It doesn’t depend on anyone else.  If you want to have a pleasant and productive day then choose to have one.  It’s all about your perception and what you choose to believe and do.
2. There is a lot you CAN control. – There are plenty of things in life that are out of our control, but don’t let this fool you into believing that your life as a whole is out of your control.  The reality is, the life you are living is almost entirely by your own design.  You have made many little choices along the way that led you down the road you’re currently traveling.  Saying that your life is out of your control is a copout – it’s what other people want you to believe so that they have an easier time getting you to do what they want you to do.
3. You do not need anyone’s constant approval. – The need for approval is like an addiction.  If you base all your actions on the approval of others, ultimately you find yourself running in place, sacrificing your own happiness.  Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.  Learn how to say “no” to people and obligations that do not add value to your life.  Your time on this planet is precious.  As the saying goes, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”  Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live.  (Read Awaken the Giant Within.)
4. Complaining is useless unless you can suggest a solution. – Do not be a constant complainer.  It doesn’t help you and it certainly doesn’t help your relationships.  If you do not like your current situation, work towards changing it, but don’t just sit around complaining about it.  Complaining will only make others nearby not want to be around you.  Be someone that looks at the positive aspects of situations.  And if you do find a problem that needs to be addressed, be someone that suggests a solution.  The bottom line is that you will never get to where you want to be by complaining about where you are now.  Each step in your life is preparing you for the one that comes after it.
5. Success is a lifestyle, not a result. – We all want to achieve success, but we need to remember that success in not a specific achievement.  Success is not crossing over some arbitrary finishing line.  It’s the ability to fight the good fight day in and day out.  Success is strength – the strength to keep pushing and to keep living your life on your own terms.  Success isn’t an end result.  It’s a state of being.  You don’t win success.  You are a success every day.
6. The fact that you haven’t given up is a success in itself. – It may give you little comfort to think about how you’re still waist deep in the struggle, but the truth is you are one of the strong people with the guts to keep at it.  Many people give up before they even begin, but not you.  No, you wake up every day and get things done.  You crawl inch by inch against the current because you refuse to give up.  You refuse to accept mediocrity.  You refuse to listen to others when they tell you that you’re not good enough.  You’re still in it, fighting the good fight.  (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
7. In every tough situation, kindness must be attempted first. – People may make ugly comments.  The airline carrier may lose your baggage.  Another driver may cut you off in rush-hour traffic.  These situations will happen daily.  The question is: How are you going to respond?  Although your first response, like many others, will be to get upset, why not try a different approach?  Anger in these situations never solves problems.  People are far more likely to respond aptly to kindness.  And you can be kind and be firm at the same time.  Get your point across without sacrificing your integrity.  It’s the only response you will not regret later.
8. Bullies and energy vampires are not worth worrying about. – We sometimes allow the wrong people to take up too much space in our heads and hearts.  We meet energy vampires and bullies regularly – especially when we live in a big city or work in a large, cutthroat corporate environment.  These individuals will try to get to you – they will try to influence you and become a part of your life because they find their own life to be mundane.  They already poisoned their own lives and now they are looking to poison yours.  Don’t let them get to you.
9. If someone hurts you, don’t take it personally. – Truth be told, if someone hurts you, chances are, they have been hurt themselves.  So do your best to never take anything too personally.  Don’t let compliments get to your head and don’t let insults get to your heart.  Most people can only give others what they have received themselves.  All your actions and words should come from a place of love, but not everyone will be loving in return, and that’s OK.  As Miguel Ruiz explained in his book The Four Agreements, when you do not take anything personally, you liberate yourself.  You can open yourself to the world, freely, and not have to worry about the judgments of others.
10. Your focused presence matters. – While modern technology can be life-changing in many beneficial ways, there is an aspect of this technology that greatly interferes with our lives and relationships.  Do not be so addicted to a screen that you miss out on the opportunity to enjoy real life unfolding in front of you.  Learn to disconnect.  Learn to slow down.  Give people your full and undivided attention.  Do not seek mindless stimulation on a screen for no reasons, and refocus on nurturing real human connections.
11. Good things in life end too soon when they aren’t appreciated.– This isn’t to say that appreciating what you have when you have it comes naturally – our minds tend to consider the possibility that the grass on the other side is greener.  But we need to mindfully remind ourselves that life isn’t about constantly upgrading things.  To live a happy, fulfilling life we have to learn to appreciate what we love and have.  If you fall in love then do your sincere best to nurture your love.  Don’t wait for things to end before you start appreciating them.
12. Today is a blessing. – Think about how many people die every minute of every day and you’ll begin to realize that waking up in the morning is a blessing.  We don’t live in a world of perpetual peace, but one laden with bouts of chaos.  On top of this, accidents do happen and people get severely injured and die because of them.  Getting another day to breathe, to experience life, and to do something meaningful is the greatest gift one can receive.  Make today count!

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What’s something positive you like to remind yourself of every day?  Leave a comment below and share your insights with us.

Speak easy, rest easier.

In this life, there will be a lot of opportunities that come up. And they're going to seem great and wonderful and seem like they will make your life a hell of a lot easier. But, sometimes you have to walk away , and at times it is going to be really difficult to do that. But you have to, because you deserve better.

Same goes for people. Any relationship. At first it's like WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?? Then, its like-- why? It is hard to distance yourself from someone you love dearly. But, if they make you feel inadequate.. it is time to walk away. If they need you, be there. But don't put yourself in the line of fire just because you feel obligated. Unfortunately, misery LOVES company. Surely. It is your choice to be happy. It is your choice to allow someone to make you feel inferior. YOU CAN CHANGE THAT. I put a lot of effort into being a nice human. In the end, that is all that truly matters. People will remember how kind you treated them, I know I do. I was on the phone with a friend from South Florida..we were reminiscing on a trip out to dinner in Detroit a few years ago. We were talking about a girl that was there with us by chance, not one of our usual crew. I got sick at dinner and I don't remember her name, but I remembered how remarkably kind she was caring for me while I was sick.

Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means your heart's too big.  That is both a blessing and a curse. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless...


Keep your heart humble, and your words. Remember--olive branches do more good than battle axes ever did.